We buried my brother in law yesterday. Less than two months after a devastating diagnosis of stage IV pancreatic cancer many hearts are aching as they try to make sense of this loss. My heart is one of them. So is my sister’s who now finds herself a widow after 15 years of love and joy with a man who was clearly her soul mate.
Len was a brilliant ear, nose and throat physician who ran his own practice for over 20 years. In all that time he was never sued by a patient — not once. This says a great deal about a man who always sought to do the right thing for his patients and who never compromised his principles. Just one year ago he and my sister moved here to Jacksonville so he could take a medical director position where he hoped to make meaningful changes to a healthcare system that doesn’t always advocate for the patient. Len was always a patient advocate and, in the truest sense of the word, a servant leader who always had the best interests of others first and foremost in his mind.
He might not agree with me but I think he was a brilliant, competent, corporate brown noser, too. After his funeral, a gathering at the home he once shared with my sister was full of people whom he worked with, whom he worked for, and who worked for him. Clearly, he understood that if he was to make meaningful change he would need the help of others in the organization so he took pride in helping them see what was in it for them if they bought into his vision. It was evident by yesterday’s visible outpouring of love and support that he had a small army working with him to change the small part of the world where he had some influence. Len obviously knew how to connect with others. The grief that was palpable throughout the day was clear evidence of how deep his connections were with those people who had only worked with him for a short while.
Connecting with others on a personal and professional level and positioning your ideas in a way that helps others see what’s in it for them, are two simple but powerful tools that every good brown-noser uses. The reason they use them is because they work. You can refuse to use these skills, but when that day comes when you must account for your deeds, will you be like Len, who was able to say that through his work he made a difference? Or will you have to say that you were afraid of being called names, of being called a brown-noser? Will you be able to say that you had the courage to recognize what was required to make your career dreams come true?
Len, thank you for your love and support when I faced my own healthcare challenge. Thank you for the love and the life that you gave my sister; you showed her the world. I have no doubt she will continue your legacy of service to others in her own special way. No doubt we will ALL try to live just a little bit better because of the example you gave us. Because of YOU.
Goodbye my friend. Peace.
L
