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I was just invited to spend some time over the Thanksgiving holiday with my family in Savannah and am reminded that I have not spoken my 'pseudo' nephew Alex (my cousin's son whom I've known from birth) since he returned from an internship in Bangladesh this past summer.  I look forward to catching up with him. 

Alex has been called a 'BS'er' by everyone who knows him.  He doesn't think much about it – he simply smiles widely and clearly feels very comfortable being who he is.

A while back, when I reminded him that I was writing a book on Brown-Nosing, he offered these (few) words of wisdom.  "I BS and brown-nose because I want people to feel good about themselves and I want them to feel good about me."  Whoah!!!  Beware, all of you,  who will be competing with this guy in a few years!

Alex has already learned that people respond well when they are comfortable and when they feel liked and supported.  He has also learned that people respond well when they like him. He is sincere about his concern for others and he has found his own way to connect with people.  As his social skills continue to develop I can only assume that he will continue to get better at understanding others.  But even if his skills stayed right where they are he already understands more than most people in the work force.

You see, for most people the game is all about themselves.  They spend time thinking about what will make them look good, make them sound smart and what will get them ahead.  For Alex, it is all about others, which in turn puts him in a favorable position with people who can make things happen for him.

Those of you who have been reading my previous posts will know that this is the foundation upon which I have built my case for competent workplace brown-nosing.  Help others succeed first – then watch your own career take off.

I wish I could talk with Alex more often about his philosophy – but like most young college aged men, he has a full social schedule which doesn't often include his 'pseudo' Auntie Linda.  Oh, did I mention that he is attending Suwanee College on a partial golf scholarship?  Yup – he has a handicap of 2, I believe.   Wise and talented.  No doubt he'll be schmoozing with the boss on the links someday soon. And I suspect that while he's doing so there will be people back at the office calling him a brown-noser.   Gee….I don't think he'll care.

Think about it…

Later, Linda

P.S. This story and others are from Brown-nosing 101: A career survival manual for the rest of us.  Check it out!

I finished a class that was conducted in a hybrid modality – the first and last classes were held face to face with students on ground at the campus and the classes in between were held online.  This particular class was somewhat difficult because the night before I was to meet the students for the first time I learned that I had breast cancer.  After virtually no sleep the previous night I arrived early Saturday morning, April 29th, and needless to say, was not on top of my game.

In a posting in the online classroom several weeks later I shared  what had been transpiring in my life and as might be expected, several students made it a point to continually connect with me to ask how I was doing.  There was never any doubt in my mind that their concerns were sincere, so clearly they were accomplished students of the L.S.Teza Brown-nosing method – i.e. show sincere concern for others before you think about what might be in it for you  (visit www.brownnosingonline.com to learn more). 

The final class meeting was again on a Saturday where we met face to face in the classroom and each of the learning teams made a presentation about their final assignment.

Much to my surprise and delight, as the first group of students stood up to head to the podium one of the group members pulled out a bag of pink breast cancer awareness bracelets and offered them to the rest of the team. 

I kept a cool demeanor at that moment but I am not ashamed to tell you that inside I was emotionally overwhelmed.  I can't think of a more fitting way to make a connection and show your support  – and to you Wayne, and the rest of you in the class who were so kind – I send my sincere thanks and appreciation, again.  Over three years later and still a 'cancer patient," I remember that moment of support as if it were yesterday. 

Not only did you send a message to me but you made a difference in your own, significant way to many others who have been and will be touched by this disease. 

To those of you reading this – I hope you will use this as a lesson in how taking initiative to show your support for others can go a long way in making a lasting impression.  Brown-nosing, according to Linda, is all about making connections with people, becoming visible to others, using the power of others via networking to grow your reach and positioning yourself and your ideas in terms of how they help others, first. This example pretty much covers all of this, brilliantly. 

Do you doubt this?  Spend some time objectively analyzing how brown-nosers in your organization conduct themselves. You will see some surprising similarities. 

Until we eradicate this disease, many of you will be touched by it in one way or another over the course of your lives. You or someone you know will be diagnosed and your lives will be changed forever.  If that day comes, reach out to others when and where you can.  Your support will mean a great deal to them, and their support will mean a great deal to you, too.

Think about it —

Later, Linda

P.S. For more tales of my breast cancer journey, please visit I Am Linda. 

I once overheard a conversation about trade show booths. A group of marketing and sales people were discussing how best to increase their product's exposure at national trade shows. The booth that the trade show team set up to present the company had been in use for many years and was universally deemed to be a bit dated and ineffective. During the course of the conversation, one member of the team said, rather forcefully,

Over the weekend I was reviewing what others are saying about brown-nosing and it is not very nice.  Many bloggers were using profanity and expletives to describe their brown-nosing cohorts and it is clear that people seem to think that there is an inherent unfairness to recognizing the contribution of brown-nosers at work.  This seems to bring to life the results of a study that was mentioned in one of my Organizational Behavior text books – that 24% of people in the workforce are chronically angry.

24%!  That's one out of every 4 of you is always pissed off about something.  For the love of God, people, snap out of it!

Let me try to reason with you.  As a rational human being, do you honestly think that management will take you seriously or consider you for positions with additional responsibilty (which bring with them added stress) if you can't manage the stress at your current level – which may be manifesting itself as anger? 

Do you think that your peers, colleagues and others who are influencers in the organization will want to work with you?  Do you think that people who know you will testify to your strength, stability of character and work?  No one wants to be around angry people unless they are angry themselves. 

The term "go postal" was coined for a reason and most managers are constantly on the lookout for people who might have this kind of negative potential.  I'm not saying those angry 24% are all capable of violence, but how is a manager to know where your particular tipping point might be?

Anger is an emotion, so let's do a little analysis and see if we can make you THINK instead of respond emotionally…..

You're angry about being passed over, ignored or otherwise treated unfairly as a result of something a 'brown-noser' did.  The bottom line is that the brown-noser got something you wanted.  I want you to think about what the brown-noser did.

Did he make someone feel good about about him/herself?  Where in the rules does it say that you can't be nice to people in positions of authority?

Did he name drop to get a favor?  Interesting.  If you wanted to get into an exclusive restaurant or club, or needed to see a particular doctor, or wanted a job with a particular company, wouldn't you look for someone who could help you get  'in' and drop his or her name'?

Did he recognize that no matter how bad an idea was it was going to happen anyway so he decided to lend his support instead of fight it?  Looks like sucking up to some but to others it looks like smart gamesmanship and supportive behavior.

Did he volunteer to do grunt work that was beneath him (or you)?  Looks like ingratiating behavior to some, but to others it looks like he helped out when and where it was needed.

Are you seeing the pattern here?  The brown-noser kept visible in any way he could.  He made friends and connected with others by supporting people when they needed support.  He used the power of his network to drop a name and gain a favor.  And he positioned himself as a player who was willing to roll up his sleeves and do the grunt work where others would not. 

If you wonder why brown-nosers get attention, think about it…..

Life is short – accelerate your potential.  Use these skills!

L