I've already written about my friend's son David, a natural born brown-noser, but I have to share another story.

I was just invited to spend some time over the Thanksgiving holiday with my family in Savannah and am reminded that I have not spoken my 'pseudo' nephew Alex (my cousin's son whom I've known from birth) since he returned from an internship in Bangladesh this past summer.  I look forward to catching up with him. 

Alex has been called a 'BS'er' by everyone who knows him.  He doesn't think much about it – he simply smiles widely and clearly feels very comfortable being who he is.

A while back, when I reminded him that I was writing a book on Brown-Nosing, he offered these (few) words of wisdom.  "I BS and brown-nose because I want people to feel good about themselves and I want them to feel good about me."  Whoah!!!  Beware, all of you,  who will be competing with this guy in a few years!

Alex has already learned that people respond well when they are comfortable and when they feel liked and supported.  He has also learned that people respond well when they like him. He is sincere about his concern for others and he has found his own way to connect with people.  As his social skills continue to develop I can only assume that he will continue to get better at understanding others.  But even if his skills stayed right where they are he already understands more than most people in the work force.

You see, for most people the game is all about themselves.  They spend time thinking about what will make them look good, make them sound smart and what will get them ahead.  For Alex, it is all about others, which in turn puts him in a favorable position with people who can make things happen for him.

Those of you who have been reading my previous posts will know that this is the foundation upon which I have built my case for competent workplace brown-nosing.  Help others succeed first – then watch your own career take off.

I wish I could talk with Alex more often about his philosophy – but like most young college aged men, he has a full social schedule which doesn't often include his 'pseudo' Auntie Linda.  Oh, did I mention that he is attending Suwanee College on a partial golf scholarship?  Yup – he has a handicap of 2, I believe.   Wise and talented.  No doubt he'll be schmoozing with the boss on the links someday soon. And I suspect that while he's doing so there will be people back at the office calling him a brown-noser.   Gee….I don't think he'll care.

Think about it…

Later, Linda

P.S. This story and others are from Brown-nosing 101: A career survival manual for the rest of us.  Check it out!